On loss and love

It's been two weeks since I lost my Dad. I have many emotions during that time, but overall I'm left with a feeling akin to having the rug pulled out from underneath me.

As I start taking steps to getting back on my feet and start working out how to navigate life without him, I wanted to take a moment to share some thoughts.

These past two weeks have been some of the hardest of my life, but they've also shown me so much about where peace lives.

I found it in nature - gazing at the sea, feeling the warmth of the sun, watching the birds move across the sky, butterflies drifting past on the breeze. I found it peaceful to live moment to moment, breathing deeply, listening to my body, covering the basics, feeling the feelings and letting them out. I found it in the quiet moments alone, and I found it in the exact opposite: leaning into my beautiful family, amazing friends and neighbours, and in this lovely community that has wrapped around me without me even having to ask. I am so grateful. For every message of love and support that landed in my inbox, my phone, my heart. Thank you for giving me the space to grieve, and for being part of the community I got to lean.

And most of all, I'm grateful for the relationship I had with my dear Dad. He was so very special and we will all miss him terribly.

Here's my tribute to 'Pops', which I hope give you a tiny glimpse into the kind, wise, loving man he was.

Pops: Love Personified

Pops didn’t ask anything of us.

He just wanted to know that we were safe, we were happy, and most of all he wanted us to know how much he loved us. And that we did. He made sure of it.

Pops was made of love.

He radiated love. It oozed, spilled, and gushed out of him wherever he went.

He loved fiercely, whole-heartedly, openly and generously.

He loved his family, he loved his friends. He loved nature, wildlife, he loved God, he loved music, he loved his life and his community.

We found a poem he wrote when he was just 18, one line reads 'beauty is present in every creature alive, if you take the time to look, and ponder over its charms'.

He saw the good in everyone and even found love for the people and things that most people find harder to love…

And he was so deeply loved in return.

It brings me huge comfort to know that his life was so full of love, that he knew he was loved, and that he knew we all knew how much he loved us too.

The pain I feel now only reflects the depth of love he gave to me and I have for him. I'm deeply grateful that the love he gave me so generously throughout my life is mine to keep.

So whilst he is gone, his love remains. More powerful than ever.

And I have enough to last my entire lifetime.